Its been a while….

Since we last spoke I have walked an ultra-marathon (on Saturday) and reached 1000 days sober (on Sunday) – Yeay! Go me!

Sounds all pretty positive eh? Well Saturday wasn’t so positive, and the disappointment still lingers, I didn’t finish my ultra-marathon, I had to retire from the event on medical grounds – heat exhaustion. Which ironically (because I was so dehydrated) was followed by over 3 hours of tears, big wet and snotty dramatic tears!

We started out at 7.30am and it was already 24 degrees, immediately on a hill and then there was 10km of hills, moors and bog that followed. This 10km took longer than we expected, but we made the first stop at 13km still positive and upbeat. We were very well hydrated as we took 3 litres of water at each rest stop. However, I didn’t really eat much, I felt sick in the heat. This was going to come back and bite me on the arse!

It all started so well….
13km Rest stop…still in good spirits!

After 13km we were on flat trails along a river, in a tiny bit of shade. So we got in some km quite quickly considering the heat. Then it got to me, the extreme heat on very little food and 30 degree heat. My pace slowed down dramatically, and I barely made it to the 27km stop without huffing and crying when no-one was watching.

I didn’t want to go back out after this stop, but Pete insisted. I picked myself up, changed clothes, ate a sandwich and off we went again. It was soon evident I had nothing left in the tank with the heat and lack of food. It was mike and Pete and the videos, messages and love from people on social media that got me to the 37km stop. Before we walked into the rest stop I immediately asked the lady what do I do to retire, my mind was made up and even Pete and Mike knew if I had carried on it would be 2am when we finished. If they went without me they could be in by midnight.

So after re-fueling off they went reluctantly leaving me behind and I broke my heart watching them go without me! I felt guilty on them as I slowed them so much throughout the day, I felt guilty on the people who had sponsored us almost £2,300 ….I thought about my sister and friend who had had Sarcoma (our charity we were raining funds for) and been through so much…..and also, I was just downright disappointed in myself!

My heroes going off to finish the last 13km without me! x

I was taken back to the start and looked after by all the staff whilst waiting for Pete and Mike to finish, I didn’t have to wait very long. They actually ran most of the last 13km despite them being broken when they left me at 37km. Just Incredible! I’m so proud of them.

The next day, when I was less emotional, I realised I was incredibly proud of myself getting to 37km in the toughest conditions I’ve ever done an event. I was proud for setting off, I was proud for having the grit and determination to reach 37km and I was proud that my body and mind was capable of all of this.

I was also extremely proud to be 1,000 days sober. My life has changed dramatically in 1,000 days and everyday I’m grateful for this!

Thank you to everyone for the support on helping to raise funds, kind words throughout all the crying on social media and to Mike and Pete for supporting me and being just hero’s’ by finishing their ultra in such a spectacular way!

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