Were you really that bad?

Todays rambling thoughts and reflections:

I can see this question in peoples eyes when I tell them I’m sober, for how long and how bad I really was. Its really easy to forget, or be completely oblivious to how bad my drinking days were.

Today someone asked me about if I’d shared my whole journey to getting sober on my podcast and I went to look and couldn’t find anything, but going back over those episodes from the last few years put me back in that space I was in when I recorded them.

I then scrolled through this blog to see if I’d wrote my full story and was again reminded of the feelings of the periods of time that I’d written those blog posts.

I also discussed with the same friend today how I deal with everything with positivity and enthusiasm and have treated my sobriety exactly the same way. However I found some of those podcasts and blog posts not so positive today, and its a reminder that even though sober, sometimes shit happens and we can be in a less than positive place. However, many of the posts are extremely positive, and I’m sure I felt every bit of positive as I wrote them.

I guess what I’ve been reminded of today is it wasn’t all through rose tinted glasses, just because it is now, doesn’t mean the last 6 and a half years have all been a doddle either. Maybe I needed to realise that myself today and that might make me a better sobriety coach to admit that its not all been as easy as I’ve previously thought or remembered it.

This entry is the closest I’ve found to detailing my dark drinking days, and actually it was much worse in real life than what I wrote here: https://allshinyandnew.blog/2019/11/17/the-good-old-days/

So next time I look in the mirror I could perhaps think, maybe that was much more difficult than I originally thought, that I perhaps didn’t get sober on positivity and enthusiasm alone. That I might remember to have a balanced view on what my life getting sober has really been like.

And maybe time to take off those rose tinted glasses. And although I enjoy my very full life, instead I should realise its perhaps hard work, graft and life experience that’s got me here, not just positivity and rose tinted glasses.

If you have listened to this evenings rambling, I applaud and thank you

Sue x

P.S. none of my ramblings are a regret about my sobriety, nor using positivity to do so, but more, a different perspective and appreciation of the past 6 and a half years.

P.P.S. this will likely have come about as I do daily sober coaching and I do the work with the coachees, and each day I’m learning more and more about myself. To join us, contact me, or listen to the brand new Sober space podcast – see my linktree: https://linktr.ee/suetickle