I’ve done an awful lot of facing my fears in my new sober life. As recent as last week it was open water ….today cows….

Whilst hiking today I spoke with a friend about ‘fears’ and I mentioned I even had fears about stopping drinking!

– Would I be fun
– Would I lose my friends
– Would my relationship survive
– Would I laugh
– Would I enjoy living
– would I be capable of stopping?

Once I realised I was ‘capable’ of stopping… the other fears disappeared. So much so that every one of those fears were ridiculous as each one was the complete opposite.

My relationship with fear is changing. I think its making me stronger, more capable, braver…and actually more fun. As a result I’m surrounded by friends who want to join in

Have you got a fear you’ll try and face this week?
❤❤
X
Ps. This cow is now also one of my mates

I’m a social media girl. I live and breathe Facebook and Instagram. I love celebrating my great life. It has changed immeasurably since going sober, it really has. I celebrate this every day.

I mean this isn’t me having a celebratory cake every day (I need to pack that in) but when I open my eyes in a morning and breathe, see the sunshine, walk outside, go hiking or running, eat good food, see my friends, travel to beautiful place. This is how I celebrate. This is my life ❤

I like to share the celebrations and the wonderful moments. I’ve been given a second chance at life and I will shout about that from the rooftops (if that pisses you off, unfollow me) but I’m not bragging or gloating…what I am doing is showing people that without alcohol there is a great big world, to be lived, breathed and celebrated – every fucking day!

I do get people who are struggling to get sober or my pictures have planted a seed, contact me to say it helps. All the sober positive stuff makes a difference. I know, I live it, but I follow it all day every day. I follow everyone positive 😊

Now normally I’m positive about everything in life but this last couple of weeks have been tough. Really tough.

• Work has been super challenging.
• Run club has been very time consuming to organise (but worth it) and I was encountering some challenges from people
• Im injured, thats not fun
• Some old emotional shit was thrown into the mix last week, I was fine at the time but as I started to relive the situation, became upsetting all over again.

So I struggled, I became overwhelmed, and wanted to cry, a lot. Now, we all have drama, stuff going on, this is life. But when all of the above involved quite a few people being really fucking rude towards me, I had had enough.

I dont deal with conflict and drama very well at all, but people being really rude and mean to me, well that just makes me want to cry.

I’ve waffled on I know… but its been a while since I blogged, I’ve took a Facebook break, still on Instagram as I only follow positivity and have come away for some rest and doing what I love, being outside in nature.

Thats just my little update for now ❤
Take care of yourselves and leave negativity and drama at the door. ❤

Lots of love

All Shiny & New

What are you doing at 3am, I bet you aren’t lay awake riddled with anxiety after being blackout drunk full of regrets, but you dont know what for, because you have absolutely no idea what you did or said or when you actually went to bed. so you are sat scrolling through texts, twitter and facebook.

Each time I lay there I searched frantically for evidence of my dick moves, then thinking I was going to die, like really die, I felt it in my bones, the pit of my stomach, my head and my heart. It was living through hell! I was hot sweaty absolutely filled with dread and fear and this would last until 4.30am – every single day.

In this hour and a half I would make a pact with myself, every 5 minutes, stop drinking tomorrow, please do this, please dont drink, you are a dick, please stop drinking! I’d then fall back to sleep, wake up again and be extremely sheepish with Pete as I will have caused world war 3 the night before, I’d have fell out with him without him even knowing. Poor Pete!

Then my morning walking through treacle would ensue, by dinner time I would have sobered up slightly, meaning this was when I started to reason with myself ‘maybe just one or 2?’ – talk about Groundhog day!

If you are in this viscious cycle of hell, please please do get help, ask you GP for support, read all the quit lit you can get your hands on, speak to friends, join a support group – ask me, i’ll offer advice, whatever it takes.

Please dont suffer with the 3am hell!

Love from me

X

On Monday we attended a ‘virtual’ drinks tasting session with Club Soda and Lucky Saint. Club soda went live and demonstrated the alcohol free drinks purchased from ‘the wise bartender‘ the packs for the event are not on the website, but many more bundles are available here: https://wisebartender.co.uk/wise-packs-12-c.asp

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Lucky Saint Lager

330ml – 0.5% Alcohol, 16 kcal per 100ml – The verdict on this one is that its very nice, you actually cant tell the difference between ordinary Lager and this alcohol free version. This would be very nice in a beer garden for anyone abstaining or the designated driver. highly recommended. This is sold in Sainsbury’s and Tesco and some bars have it as their alcohol free option. Click here to go to Lucky Saint website

Up Flow – Pale Ale

355ml – 0.5% Alcohol, 80 kcal for 355ml – Easy to drink, this has a fresh grassy smell, and was one of the favourites from the pack. It was better left to settle for a couple of minutes before drinking, then it was very soft pale ale which all of us liked.

Brew Dog Hazy AF IPA

330ml, 0.5% Alcohol, 14 kcal per 100ml – This pale ale has tropical flavours and was really nice, Pete thought this would be lovely with a Curry and Dan liked it too. (he isn’t sober)

Tiny Rebel Non -Alcoholic Topical IPA

330ml, 0.5% Alcohol, 47 kcal – This was everyone’s favourite, when I heard it was fruity it smells fruity, I turned my nose up. However it was refreshing, fruity and tropical and we all commented how nice and refreshing it would be to sit and drink it in a beer garden

Tempest Drop Kick Sour Pale Ale

In my opinion it smelled funny and I really didn’t like the taste, but then I wouldn’t have had a sour drink by choice. Dan and Pete both liked it and would drink it.

Bonfire Stout – Drop Bear Beer co

I didn’t like this at all, none of us did, but then if you are stout drinker this might be OK.

Gin!

In addition to the wise bartender pack that was for the event, I bought some Sea Arch non-alcohol spirit. This drink is made in Devon and in the most beautiful bottle, its also calorie free, sugar free and vegan friendly. It costs £15.95 for 25cl and £24.95 for 70cl and is available from Sea Arch directly or Wise Bartender. I had it with plenty of ice, tonic and enjoyed 2 large glasses. It was very refreshing and I would certainly buy it again. ‘It is created with complex, natural botanicals such as sea kelp, samphire, cardamon and blood orange. But then the alcohol is gently removed to create a grown-up, alcohol-free spirit’

Below is the link to the video of the AF beer tasting

Please do let me know if you have any feedback on alcohol free drinks and I can add it here to help people with recommendations

Have a great weekend

All Shiny and New – Sue

I’m going to say that for about 5 years I had drunk daily, a stupid amount of wine! I literally couldn’t wait for wine o’clock (this became earlier and earlier as time went on). My life was OK, but I honestly felt I was walking through treacle every single day, but i couldn’t see a way out.

Towards the end, this treacle was getting neck deep and so much thicker by the day….by the hour. I still get a bit sad about how much of my life I wasted, at least 5 years! How could I let myself get like that you may ask, alcohol is evil sneaky poison and does that to you, to an awful lot of people. It’s a massive depressant and is like pouring petrol on anxiety.

Now my life is so much better, without the drama, negativity and poison, without the focus on wine like nothing else mattered! It’s weird how it wasn’t just the wine I eliminated, but people too. I attracted some people who were like this too and it was only by going sober that I saw my worth and eliminated certain people who were using me, being disloyal and were behaving in an immoral and dishonest way – normally I’d have said nothing, going sober meant I could do what was right and I have absolutely no regrets doing so.

Today I’m celebrating 600 days sober, that’s 600 days of feeling better, clearer, more focused energetic and not missing alcohol at all. I’m more present for my family and real friends, colleagues, and find it easier to cope whatever life throws my way. I’m really grateful for every sober day. Thank you for sharing my 600 days

All Shiny and New

X

So at the beginning of May we should have travelled to the Isle of Wight to complete a 50km ultra-challenge in aid of Sarcoma UK. Me, Pete and my brother Mike were doing this for Sarcoma UK and my friend Sandra was doing it for a charity close to her heart.

Obviously the pandemic has put paid to all of these events, however we had raised a substantial amount in funding already. So I came up with the idea of us still doing the ultra-challenge, but doing it in sunny Bury (North Manchester instead) – So this Friday we will be walking 10k, close to home, and then rest and re-fuel and take our positions on treadmills to do the other 40k on our driveway!

We have created a Facebook page to stream live some sections of our challenge, and for people to leave us good luck messages, give us a cheer etc.

If you wish to see us (albeit red-faced) or support us in anyway, please see the links below:

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Bury-Lockdown-Ultra-Challenge-106346744402013

Just Giving Page: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ticklesandclarke

Thank you as always for your support

X

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I know my blog is normally about sobriety and I’ve not blogged for ages, but wanted to do so today. I’ve been so busy in my role as a Procurement Manager for Northern Care Alliance – (Salford Royal NHS and Pennine Acute NHS Trust). I’m not on the front line, BUT we are business critical and still based on site to support at such a critical time during this pandemic. We are responsible for providing Protective equipment for the staff as well as medical equipment for patient care. In fact everything that is purchased to make a hospital run comes through procurement.

So how can you help NHS colleagues?

Clap on a Thursday

How heart-warming is this and obviously it’s not just for NHS staff, it’s for key staff, of which there are so many, all doing such a great job!

Stay Home

Goes without saying really! – Easter leave is cancelled for me and my team please don’t be going out for a day trip and making this pandemic last longer than it needs to!

Sponsor a Nurses Hands:

The nurse’s hands are suffering massively as a result of the extra hand washing and harsh hand sanitiser. I’ve seen lots of initiatives for sending hand creams into hospitals and our hospitals have benefited from having Tropic luxury hand cream, body shop products and faith in nature skincare – which is truly amazing. I thought I’d try and add to this and deliver some hand creams to the wards too.

If you would like to provide a Tropic Skincare Luxury hand cream to a nurse at Salford Royal – click here, and I will distribute to some of the wards. I will also write a hand written card with the names of the donors on so they know who has helped them in this time of need. I will post a picture of them being donated.

https://paypal.me/pools/c/8o7cOfoOab – Link to pay pal to buy a hand cream for a nurse!

Invest in Self-care whilst benefitting the NHS

Tropic skincare is a very kind and ethical company and I’ve been an ambassador for a number of years. During this pandemic I’ve been incredibly impressed with them helping the NHS as well as promoting self-care. Currently they have free delivery on orders for £30 plus some limited edition pamper packages for self-care. The profits from the pamper packages is used for production of hand sanitiser for NHS Trusts. I’m already a distributor of the hand sanitiser for Salford Royal and Pennine acute – if you want to support this initiative by buying a pamper pack for you or a friend (obviously you can buy other products too: https://tropicskincare.com/pages/suetickle

Lastly, thank you for reading and supporting the NHS and for those of you that watched BBC’s junior doctors last year, here are the stars of the show with a short video on staying safe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcSo_ogM-tc

Take care of yourselves and your families and stay safe Xx

To all the very kind people who helped us to raise over £750 for Sarcoma UK a huge huge thank you ❤

I’m in bed utterly exhausted but very happy to yet again be surrounded by such lovely community spirited, generous people. I’m a very lucky girl!

Couple of pictures from today 😘

Xx

It’s been a while since I blogged and it’s been absolutely crazy!! A few things I’ve been doing:

Work, It’s crazy full stop, I say to Pete every day, wow work was dead manic today. I’ve said this every day for 2 years – so maybe this is my job, crazy manic madness!

Run club, Run Together Whitefield is going from strength to strength – for a while now we have been this bunch of 16 volunteers leading 130+ runners per week. As we are doing lots of new things, we needed more leaders. So we now have another 6. Wow! We never ever realised how big we were going to be. This is such a massive thing for our local running community. We are now running more specific programs which is super exciting.  

Sobriety Group, I’m also involved in a sobriety community group and have been appointed events co-ordinator for arranging the afternoon tea’s around the country. Not a bad little job ha! These events are bloody wonderful and full of gorgeous sober people! We are even having a little walking break in Cumbria organised by yours truly.

Hiking friends, I started a little hiking friends Facebook page to arrange hill hiking as part of my ultra-training, there were 6 people in the beginning a few weeks ago and this week there are 60+ people in the group. We have hikes most weeks in the Manchester area and people absolutely love it! The great outdoors, getting fit and with friends – what’s not to love!

Parkrun Volunteering, I’m almost at 25 volunteering sessions! One more to go – when you reach 25 you get a free t-shirt. Let’s be honest I’m not doing all of this for the t-shirt. I’m doing this because I absolutely LOVE my local park-run. They are so supportive and welcoming and Heaton Park Park-run have been in my sobriety toolkit from day 1.

500 days sober, Well that feels pretty awesome, I reached 500 days sober this week – that’s 500 days without ‘hanxiety’, without drama, without me counting down the hours until I can put shit in my body for absolutely no reward whatsoever. I woke up! Honestly the best thing ive ever done for myself!

As if all that is not enough, a few things I have coming up

• Ultra-Marathon training – yeah, I’ve not really done much apart from the hill hikes, but it’s still not enough miles. I really need to get my arse out more!
• Charity Clothes swap – I’m throwing a clothes swap for charity and hoping to raise hundreds of pounds for Sarcoma UK. The research they carry out, saves people’s lives, like my sister! The clothes swap and Ultra Marathon are to raise funds for Sarcoma UK – https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ticklesandclarke
• Sarcoma UK Ball, my sister is arranging the event in London tomorrow and I have a gorgeous new frock. I cannot wait; I’ve never been to London for more than an hour. I’m so excited.
• Hike and Yoga Retreat – me and my friend Lesley (a yoga teacher) decided to put together a yoga retreat and I popped a post on to see if anyone fancied coming along. What I didn’t expect was 45 people ask for the information and complete a survey monkey. That’s crazy and exciting in equal measures! Watch this space for more details on that.
• ‘Inspiring Women’ awards – March is the month I will find out if I’ve been shortlisted for the above awards that I was nominated for back in December (and again in January) fingers crossed I get through to the next stage.

Phew I’m tired just writing all that, so much exciting stuff – all of it I’m certain is as a result of my sobriety

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Have a wonderful weekend people – I’m off to get ready for London Xx