I’ve said it before that writing this blog is a great way of working through my thoughts and feelings, a type of therapy. This type of working through feelings is still all new to me, I never dealt with the feelings before, I just drank to numb them and block them out.

Almost 4 years ago my wonderful Dad passed away, quite suddenly. This left a massive gaping hole our family and our lives.

Personally is I absolutely used it as an excuse to hit the bottle even harder than normal, I cried more….every single day, I was incredibly sad as you would expect. So for 2 years I was even more out of control, by the day. My alcohol consumption increased massively and I was a complete and utter knob by this time. You’d think watching my dad drink extremely heavily for years would have made me steer well clear of the life destructive poison, but no! I wasn’t the type of person to be sensible.

Anyway, today I went to Kenmore in Scotland where Dad’s final resting place is, I’ve been here a few times before and each time I’ve been incredibly blackout drunk and out of control. We had a family wedding up here in 2015 my brother got Married when dad was still alive, he passed away a few months later. We then came up again to scatter dads ashes here in 2017, we came back up the year after to visit…. all 3 events extremely alcohol fueled. Today I came back to Kenmore 15 months sober, no poison left in my body and absolutely in the best place of my life ever!

I called just to say ‘Hi’ today and see this beautiful place that will always remain one of my favourite places I’ve ever been. However, It did get me wondering…. did my Dad know how much I’ve completely turned my life around? did he know I’d graduated from my Degree and have letters after my name? did he know I was now a Procurement Manager? did he know I was an ultra-marathoner and that I’d co-founded a massive running club for all abilities? Did he know I still raised thousands of pounds each year for cancer charities to help others and did he know I’d been nominated for 2 ‘Inspired Women’ awards this year?

My thoughts are yes he will know, and I suspect and like to think that he’d be very proud of his little girl! Xx

PS. Thanks to Pete for taking a 2 hours detour to say Hi to Dad x

So I’m always banging on about my shiny new life and rightly so. It’s pretty amazing and I wouldn’t change it for the world. ❤

However…I’m still normal …I still get stressed and over commit like I used to, only now I can cope with it so much better. I used to get stressed and head straight for the bottle of wine or 2. Although to be honest, I did this if I wasn’t stressed too.

I used to say I was stressed and drink helped me to cope, but actually drinking heavily every day and being awake from 3am suffering from anxiety was making me stressed. It was a viscous circle. A horrible stressy horrible viscous horrible circle. (You get the gist)

I’m currently stressed, I know because I cancelled a run tonight….that not like me! Work is friggin crazy, outside work is …well normal but hectic. Its ‘sue crazy!’ I’m training for my ultra challenges, organising charity events, running club stuff is mega busy, parkrun every weekend, exercising most days. How do I fit it all in? I certainly dont know how I used to fit it all in whilst drunk all of the time!

Some people would say dont do so much (very sensible advice) But, well I love it…most of it. The being busy, making the most of my sobriety and I’m certainly living my best life!

So what am I going to do to deal with all the stress. Well tomorrow I’m off to a gong bath (no idea if I’ll like it – never been) I’ll let you know how that goes! Saturday morning is park run (obviously) and then an alcohol free festival in Manchester in the afternoon. I’m going with a sober friend who is celebrating 12 months sobriety on Saturday. So proud of her and looking forward to a really lovely time.

Next week I’m having a few chilled days accompanying Pete on his work travels. I’ll be in Aberdeen for a few days. I’m going to go for long walks along the seafront whilst listening to podcasts and then sit in cafes on the front reading my book. I might be kidding myself, but this is certainly the intention.

So the difference in how I deal with stress now is to think about it (rather than hide at the bottom of a bottle) make changes if I need to and make positive steps in doing so. And hopefully learn from it 😂😂

What are your coping with stress tools? Do you reach for the bottle or assess the situation and go for a walk, exercise or talk it through with a friend?

Wishing you a stress free day tomorrow 😘 xx

Hi All. Ive been super busy and quiet, sorry! How is everyone? How is Dry January going? (if you are partaking)

I’d love to hear how you are getting on and shall be sharing this blog post on my ‘all shiny and new’ Facebook page. Let’s have a chat, share ideas, tell us your challenges and let us help. (Screenshot of my Facebook page below)

If you are smashing Dry January or sober 2020. Then you have my upmost admiration. Huge congratulations, and keep up the good work

The sober community, Instagram and Facebook community are buzzing with advice and inspiration. Get in touch if you want pointing in the right direction

Sue Xx

So you thought it was a good idea and thought you’d be fine, but now you might be getting twitchy, anxious, bored and narky. Your mind might be wondering – ‘Could I just have one drink?’ It would take away the boredom right?
So, I thought I’d be nice and come up with some suggestions to keep you occupied. You need to occupy your time, brain and body! Ready….

• Go for a walk, run or swim
• Walk the dog, if you don’t have one, borrow one
• De-clutter your wardrobe
• Do yoga on you tube or from an app
• Meditate
• Colour in, buy an adult colouring book and some felt tips – I have seen sweary ones, rude animal ones, mandalas and unicorn themed colouring books! I bet you are on amazon looking at the rude Animals one now 😉
• Jigsaw, Board games, Sudoku, brain teasers
• Join an online forum for sober people, or dry Januaryers, or such
• Go to go ape
• Sign up for a new challenge
• Sort out your utensil draw
• Batch cook
• Go to the cinema
• Go for coffee with a sober or dry January friend
• Have a lie in and watch a movie in bed with a brew
• Make a 30, 60, 90 day life plan
• Start a blog
• Keep a journal
• Get crafty – Crochet or knit
• Volunteer
• Watch cheesy movies
• Find a new box set
• Telephone a friend
• Go to the Gym
• Try Boogie bounce or something that’s going to get you active but make you laugh
• Go to a comedy show
• Go to the theatre
• Have a bubble bath with candles
• Treat yourself to a new book

There you go, don’t tell me you are bored now! I know some of these things cost money and take time and effort, but this is what you will have more of as a result of not drinking, I promise!

Have a great Saturday night
All Shiny & New X

Dont they haunt you!?
I know memories are supposed to be a wonderful thing but that’s only if the memories are in fact wonderful and joyous. If you were a drunken prick like me, with daily pricklike behaviour and almost daily blackouts from excessive boozing, the memories are not so good.

Facebook memories are of course what I’m talking about, real memories wont exist because of the alcohol, but Facebook is there as a constant friggin reminder.

Each day’s memories, that I can tell were alcohol fuelled, ramblings that didn’t make sense and a million pictures of a glass of wine! I was actually such a prick!

There is a pattern in these memories. The ones from longer ago, about 5 or 6 years ago were posted late at night. The most recent ones from just before I stopped drinking, they were sozzled posts from about 8PM if not earlier. If you were friends with me then, I’m really surprised you are still friends with me now. I was a nightmare for drunken wittering!

I’m now starting to encounter some nicer memories from last year of me with alcohol free fizz. Usually with clear skin, bright eyes and mental clarity and enthusiasm that is becoming the norm. These are the kind of memories that I love. They really reinforce that I have absolutely made the right decision to change my life for the better!

If you are coming across memories frequently that you would like to change due to excessive alcohol consumption, reach out and seek help. Do it today….

There is honestly so much help, support and inspiration out there. I made the mistake of thinking I was totally alone with my problem. This really isn’t the case, let me point you in the direction you may need.

All Shiny & New

I hope you have had a wonderful festive season and looking forward to whatever normality has in store for you, I’ve spent the whole day in PJ’s eating copious amounts of food after doing 2 park runs this morning! Definitely not normality – but thats OK, my body needed a rest and some food and i’ll give my body what it needs.

I’ve had a life admin hour this afternoon too, still in PJ’s. I’ve booked the accommodation for the 2 ultra challenges i’m doing in May and June. I’ve booked a trail half marathon (my first ever half marathon) for February. I’ve booked an afternoon tea in a few weeks with my freind Aimi and after writing this blog I’m getting back on the couch for some more TV bullshit.

I have signed up for Red January which is about being active everyday to promote better mental health and beat any January Blues. I tried Red January last year and burnt myself out after 7 days so have plotted in my activities for this January but in more manageable distances / sessions. I’m doing walking, running, yoga and swimming.

I have a nice day planned for tomorrow, a bit of exercise, then the theatre with my Mum to watch the Bodyguard and then a little break in Llandudno for me and Pete. cant wait!

What did you today for you? Did you think about your goals for 2020 or will they wait until another day. I hope you have at least have had some self care time today.

Thanks for reading and again, Happy New Year x

Healthy debate in our house this week! Dry January has been discussed a lot – I personally think that anything that makes people ‘pause’ and evaluate their relationship with alcohol is a massive, positive thing. I get it’s only for a set period BUT what if some of the people who have a 31 day break, realise the massive benefits and carry on for a longer period, or even abstain for good. Then Dry January is worth it. It also raises awareness of the dependency on alcohol in our culture.

Its only when you go sober you realise how utterly obsessed we have become with alcohol that we have to have set times of the year to detox our bodies. But again, I’d rather have dry January than not, some people would just go crazy all year round like I used to do. I once did dry January, and lasted until day 7. I’m pretty sure I drank daily since then and this was back in 2015.

Pete’s Opinion! (Always different to mine!)

“Hi everyone” I’m going to make myself absolutely clear before I start; I’m not taking anything away from you or anyone that wants to do dry January. It’s a great starting point full stop not because it’s January but it’s fantastic that you want to give it a go and see how you feel! So genuinely good on ya! If you’re doing dry January, you’re already gearing your mind up and taking control which is fantastic, and do not let anyone deter you!

Let’s discuss the fact that before Christmas we have Stoptober, again well done if you did this but think, since October to now have you stopped drinking or slowed down? “If you have, you’re a fucking rock star, keep it up! It gets easier” If you did it and it felt great and you slotted back into drinking on a regular basis and then like most, took December & Christmas as the time to catch up on what you missed out on in October? I just want you to take minute and think, if you’re going to do dry Jan what’s different about it now to October or any other month for that matter? Why do it to yourself again?

Dry January for the ones that just concentrate on Dry Jan, great! Fantastic start and you will feel the benefits but let’s be realistic, it coincides with lots of other faddy January stuff. People do have a tendency to change too much too soon. And this is where we are setting ourselves up to fail.  

Let’s put it into perspective, it’s no small feat to go a month without alcohol, it’s stitched within the fabric of our society, so you’re taking the leap to be the odd one out, which is brave decision to be making in the first instance.

Therefore my one bit of advice that I want to share with you, if you’re doing dry January is to just tackle Dry January! On its own! I’m a big believer in doing one thing at a time and doing it really well, bit of a no-brainer really. Which, by making the new unfamiliar changes, like not drinking for a period of time the norm; all because you have just one major goal. By doing this you will create a foundation to build upon, and you’ll be more likely to achieve said goal.  

I say this from experience! I found that the Diet and Exercise along with all the other things you want will absolutely come after you get clarity of mind; this clarity is the base of the structure that you will build everything else on. Don’t try and do too much in January and don’t make too many changes!

Right; I have shared my view on things and I wanted to give you my honest opinion.

“Do one thing at a time, do that one thing to the best of your ability, the rest will follow”

Back to Sue……

Bloody hell, he got carried away…….

I agree on some of those points and yes the whole ‘New Start New Me’ thing is faddy and in some instances only lasts so long and when you go back to old behaviours, you can sometimes go back a few steps and feel worse than ever. BUT I still think anyone embarking on dry January deserves a great big pat on the back and I shall be posting more some inspiration, who to follow on Instagram, which books to read, some general help and support to help those that are embarking on Dry January or moderate drinking. I will also be doing the alcohol free drinks reviews I promised!

Super good luck to you all taking part in Dry January

Sue & Pete X

The Good

• Graduation – I earned my degree in Procurement after 7 long years! Most people take 3 years, but I drank all the way through mine and I’m convinced this made me take longer as I failed so many exams. The last exam which I had already failed 3 times, I passed within a few weeks of going sober.
• Ultra marathon – In June I completed an ultra-marathon event raising £1,250 for Sarcoma UK. This was by far the furthest my legs had carried me,  at 36 miles (58KM) it took almost 17 hours to complete, of which 13 hours was moving. This was as much a mental challenge as it was physical, I signed up to that challenge to celebrate my sobriety.
• Climbed Mountains – during my ultra-training I climbed Scafell Pike (England’s highest Peak) – not for the first time, but I certainly found it so much easier without the overwhelming amount of toxins in my body! The sense of achievement and the feeling of ‘being alive’ at the top is something I won’t forget! I also climber Snowdon too a few months later, again memorable!
• Achieved sobriety for 1 year – In October I celebrated my first complete year of sobriety, I got bought a beautiful watch, a day at Lytham St Ann’s in a beach hut and lots of cards from my friends! It was a wonderful celebration. 
• Started a New Running Group – In July we started a new running group in Whitefield, we didn’t even research if people needed this or would turn up, but we though if no-one does, we’ll just go and run ourselves. Well 107 people the first week and we have had consistently high numbers since, it’s safe to say the need for the club was there!
• Awarded Learner of the Year award at work – I must have got this for taking 7 years to pass my exams ha ha! It was such a shock though and awarded me for passing my exam and having my letters after my name, but also encouraging my team to study and develop themselves too.
• Nominated for an ‘Inspiring Women’ award, Fitness & Wellbeing category – This was a recent shock, but very welcome. Very honoured to have been nominated and I’ve since learned it was by multiple people – I assume for the work with Run Together Whitefield, which is of course a team effort.
• Friendships – I’ve mentioned before (just once or twice! Ha) about friends being such a big part of my life this past year and I really do have the best most supportive ones without a doubt! They are my rocks and friends for life- cheesy I know, but it’s true.  
• My Relationship with Pete – I don’t think we actually knew each other properly before, I know that seems extreme, but we were either hammered or hung over, all of the time – this year we have spent time together and got to know each other – it’s just as well we like each other, that could have easily backfired ha ha!

The bad

• My Training Mojo – It well and truly ‘disappeared’ after my ultra-challenge in June – anything following June I really had to force myself to put my trainers on, I hated it. In fact if we hadn’t of started Run Together Whitefield, I’d have sat on my arse for 6 months! I’ve been active running the group, I’m always at the back, but at least I’m there and moving. But in 2020 I must try harder AND not let my mojo do a runner after my ultra-challenges.

You’ll notice there isn’t a lot of bad stuff, but this doesn’t mean I wasn’t sad sometimes or a little flat. I know I’m extremely lucky to lead the life I do and I appreciate it every single day. I also try and put myself in people’s shoes that are not living such a positive life.

The ugly (uncomfortable)

The low point for me this year was leaving behind a running group I had been with for a number of years and it had played a pivotal part in my life. I made numerous friendships and engaged in and utilised the support network in and around this group. I was a massive part of my life! Gosh this was tough, it was tough to make the decision, but clarity in my sober head meant I absolutely made the right decision to walk away from something I felt so passionate about. I had various concerns and so I was determined to do the right thing. What followed was such a lonely time and space, with lots of sleepless nights, I was absolutely sure I’d done the right thing morally, but I’d left and lost friends by walking away.

Looking forward to 2020 – Is the subject of tomorrow’s blog post and so for now, I wish you all a Happy New Year and thank you for the friendships and support this year.

Be safe and well, and have a great Tuesday night!

All Shiny & New Xx

Well there have been tears of absolute joy this morning, I get so much junk e-mail I was clicking to delete everything and saw an e-mail from Inspire awards 2020 that jumped out. Upon opening it is said I’d been nominated for The 2020 INSPIRE AWARDS in the fitness and well-being category.

Now, I’ve only been nominated, not shortlisted and I haven’t got my frock and acceptance speech ready, but it’s a bloody big deal to have been nominated, really big deal to me. I’m so honoured to have been thought of. It’s a really glitzy big bash and some of the most inspiring people I’ve met attend it from all walks of life.  I messaged the person I thought may have nominated me and she told me it was actually my son, I cried even more then. How amazing that my 21 year old son thought I was inspiring enough to be nominated for a bloody big award. I’m so thrilled to be a positive influence on my kids, that makes a nice change.

Now some of you may think, ‘What on earth has she done‘ to inspire others and you may not know, but me and a few running friends started the most amazing running group almost 6 months ago. Run together Whitefield. It’s been the biggest whirlwind of a journey, we didn’t expect people to show up but then 100 people per week came and chaos set in. Good chaos though!

As a small group we found amazing new run leaders, raised funds for them to get trained, organised sessions, organised socials, researched run routes and took our wonderful community running group from strength to strength rather rapidly. We have helped approximately 40 people through a couch to 5k program and graduate at our local park run. We now have new programs starting in January to take people beyond 5k, I’m so excited to be part of this huge positive thing!

So this nomination isn’t just for me, it’s for all those Run Leaders who I now call friends, volunteers, the runners that believe in us and the wonderful running community who come from other clubs to offer support and advice and help before we even have to ask. I now have more friends than I’ve had in my lifetime. Phew!

I know that sounded like an acceptance speech ha ha – Thank you Daniel for nominating me Xx

PS. This absolutely would have never happened if I hadn’t been sober, my sobriety has meant I am clearer, motivated, and capable of inspiring others – it’s all pretty bloody amazing! Sobriety is the gift that keeps on giving. Cheesy as that sounds its true.

So……. Pete stopped drinking with me in October 2018 and didn’t look back. Since we met we had drunk, pretty much the whole time we were together. He drank almost as much as me at home and on nights out he would drink much more than me BUT he always said he could just stop if he wanted.

 I didn’t think he could, and thought he would struggle just as much as I would to stop. He proved me wrong and immediately felt the benefits of not drinking and became super on board with the non-drinking lifestyle we had adopted.

However, in December last year he went on a works Christmas night out and fell off the wagon, spectacularly and woke up the next day feeling like absolute death. This lasted a week. Now for me, I was saying it was a blip, no need to start counting again – also, if I’d have been off the wagon in a heartbeat if it’d been me; I would have used all the excuses under the sun to get back into drinking. Pete however realised how much this night had ruined him and got back on it immediately! He is therefore a year sober today! I’m so incredibly proud of him and at the same time extremely grateful for his unwavering support to keep us both sober. (Sorry I can’t buy you a Michael Kors watch and a beach hut at St Anne’s, but the celebratory meal was pretty spectacular!)

• 

A short bit from the man himself!  

I haven’t really thought too much about the fact it’s been a year, I knew I drank a lot but absolutely thought I could knock it on the head if I wanted to. I stopped to support Sue more than I did it for myself In the beginning, I don’t need a badge or an award it’s what I wanted to do to support her, and in all fairness it’s just the norm now.

It became very apparent that after a couple of months I started to realise just how on point I was! like, literally all the time. It’s a hard feeling to describe but essentially for me, I have been at the top of my game for what feels like such a long time now all be it only 12 Months. I do wonder what I could have achieved if I had knocked the drink on the head sooner.

All the challenges / looks and responses of confusion from Friends, Family and Work Colleagues at social events, Birthdays, Football, etc. Basically every event that would turn to casually drink the day away event contained all the same hurdles as what Sue experienced; with a slight caveat. I generally think that being a Male and drinking is so institutionalised that now I’m the mad one, the idiot, the one with ‘a problem’ because I choose not to drink!?

In all fairness it was just about me being me and if you know me, you already know that I absolutely do not give a Shit about what others think of me.  “I’m the classic bull in a china shop, if I want it I will get it! so either get on board or get out of the way”  Once you get over the lads, family, friends etc. calling you a massive girl and all the other stereotypes they can chuck at you, I noticed that they started to see what I was getting out of it and people have started to respect me for it.

A New Job

In an industry that I had no knowledge of, you can imagine – Fear factor, Stress, Self-doubt? i had none at all! It’s all been effortless from day one to deal with a highly intensive Sales role, purely target driven. Its been a walk in the park because I feel so on point all the time and at the top of my game! “This level of stress was easy to manage with a beer previously, with zero benefits to me! – I lost years drinking to deal with work stress”

Health & Fitness

Obviously the running club Sue started is something I got involved with from day one and I’ve now became a run leader. I’m loving getting others motivated and they let me Beast them in the gym which is paying off and the rewards are great.  “Never in a million years would I have been this committed if I was drinking”

“I suppose the main message to take from this and one to put out here to the Men! Don’t be scared; don’t fear being the lone wolf in your pack of mates, work or family group!

That wont get you what you want, only you can do that! The repercussions of bettering yourself are evident once you take the life changing step, try your hardest, be bullish and stick to your guns! A little bit of focus and determination will get you the success you want in whatever form it comes!”

So actually, thanks to Sue for supporting me without me releasing I even needed the support.

Happy sobervarsary Pete, I’m so proud of you xx